How do I start to explain myself? I know, of course, words cannot express what I'm passing through now. How I got here still seems like a mystery to me.
The admission into the University I celebrated years back is now hunting my soul; my degree is nowhere to be found, my certificate doesn't even exist.
How do I tell my parents I was withdrawn in my second year?! The trusts they had on me, the hopes and dreams they saw ahead of me, I've sent everything crashing to the ground.
It's no longer a hypothesis, it's no more a supposition, I'm a failure! I have disappointed my family and friends, even though they've yet to know.
I was a bright student, no doubt. I never missed a class, save for when I was ill.
But the problem was just there; my academic passion was not being rewarded by the system, I can't say if it was me who didn't know how to answer questions in Social Sciences.
In the middle of the whole drama, I met Frank. Frank - my coursemate was never serious with his academics. "…guy, you see this town? Na we get am! Cheer up, make me buy you beer."
He had told me at the onset, and I ignorantly followed him in a jejune manner.
I am not diverting my ill-fated life to him, but I speak with a heavy mind:
"My malevolent mate betrayed me! He played a major role in my doom." I am now lost in my own thoughts.
While my school mates were celebrating, I pretended to be one of them; grinning as we splashed sachet waters on our white polos that had been colorfully redesigned with marker. The many photos we took together were all for formalities; I only wanted my friends and family to be proud of me.
"Time waits for no man," they say. I couldn't think of picking myself together before time; registering for JAMB again didn't cross the mind. Instead, I made a choice while my mind was still hazy.
Since I had failed myself already, I decided to fail my family, my friends, and the society at large.
The smoking and drinking took me no time to get addicted, the clubhouse owner almost gave me a certificate: "To our dearest customer", stealing of phones from innocent people in the hostel became my business.
As a matter of fact, I can boldly say that I terrorized the Nation's Paradise severely. I felt satisfied, but deep down I was completely void.
Every single moment of every day, my conscience would hit me to remember I failed.
While all these are going on with me, my dad - a politician in the oil-rich Akwa-Ibom State, is busy arranging for his business associates to put me in line with ExxonMobil as an Administrative staff immediately I finish my clearance.
I'm not just ashamed of myself, I'm also scared. I'm very sure my dad will pay a visit to the land of no return the day he will get to know what is happening.
I don't need any advice; because I can now differentiate my left from my right, and I know even if I have failed, it is not too late to start all over again.
The Ineptitude Of A Nigeria Student.
Written By Uwem Abraham
Edited By Ephraim Peters.
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